The Self Love Scam
- Chaim Moshe Steinmetz LISW
- Jun 9
- 2 min read
Self love is a scam. Self love implies that you need to CREATE the sense of love in yourself through your words, actions, inner child work.......
Heres the problem that many people struggle with. How can you fill yourself from an empty tank? If you don't already love yourself, then where is the love coming from? There is nothing in you to give.
Here is the truth about self love: We don't need to give love to ourselves. We need to receive it from ourselves
Just as you don't need to actively get involved in your stomach digesting your meal, your stomach does it for you automatically. You are on the receiving end of that digestion.
The warm, blissful, calm, safe, and connected experience of love is hardwired into us. No effort is required to create it, its there, built into who we are.
I dont mean this as a cheesy therapisty inspirational meme. This is a neuroscientific FACT. Check out the Ted Talk above. I got the chills the first time I watched it.
The question is not how to love yourself when you dont have it in you to give, but how to reveal and receive the love that is already there inside of you.
Cold Assisted Psychotherapy is phenomenal at this. I've watched men shake and cry in CAP sessions (the men that never cry) because they are receiving their own love for the first time.
CAP is so effective for this because it literally turns off the brain processes (Default Mode Network) that block us from receiving that love. The experience that follows is the receiving of the unadulterated, pure love that is your birthright.
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